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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30055980">How Precious Life Can Be</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang'>idrilhadhafang</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Sequel Trilogy Fixes [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Conflicted Kylo Ren, Conflicted Poe Dameron, Fix-It, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Kylo Ren Redemption, Love Redeems, M/M, Past Character Death, Past Torture, Protective Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 16:40:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,190</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30055980</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Poe is shot down during the Battle of Crait and Kylo takes care of him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Poe Dameron/Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Sequel Trilogy Fixes [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2201949</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Allbingo, The Darkpilot Library</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>How Precious Life Can Be</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Prompt: The Wild Card</p><p>Disclaimer: I own nothing.</p><p>Author’s Notes: Title from “If I Never Knew You” from Pocahontas, which I listened to on loop for this story. Also, it didn’t make it into the story, but the wild card prompt refers to how unpredictable Kylo can be, which they unfortunately got rid of in TLJ and TROS.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Poe woke in that moment, overwhelmingly sore from the crash he’d had on his speeder, seeing —<br/>
<br/>
No. It couldn’t be.<br/>
<br/>
“Ben?” he said, softly.<br/>
<br/>
“Ben is gone,” Kylo Ren said. “He was weak and foolish, so I destroyed him.”<br/>
<br/>
“So you tortured me. Killed your father. Killed the villagers. All of it.” Poe could swear his voice was getting gritty with anger. “And for what? Were you trying to...”<br/>
<br/>
He trailed off. He couldn’t even say that Kylo had disappointed his family, because Poe had done that on a smaller scale once upon a time.<br/>
<br/>
Were they really that different?<br/>
<br/>
“I wish I’d never met you.” Poe Dameron never imagined that he would ever say something more hurtful in his life, and it didn’t matter. In that moment, he wanted to draw blood. Maybe to see if Kylo Ren could even bleed. If he wasn’t too much of a monster for that. “By the stars, I would have been happier. I wouldn’t have felt so much pain. If we’d never met, I’d be happy, and if I was unhappy, I’d never even...”<br/>
<br/>
He trailed off again. That was the key, wasn’t it? Never knowing why.<br/>
<br/>
“You do.” Kylo said, stiffly. Poe could tell that he’d hurt him. “You really do?”<br/>
<br/>
Poe paused. Tried to imagine a life without meeting Kylo. A life without knowing Ben.<br/>
<br/>
It hurt. Trying to imagine other boys in Ben’s place, playing with him, comforting him about his mother, believing in him and loving him as a Spice Runner. Things of that nature.<br/>
<br/>
Trying to imagine...<br/>
<br/>
“Would you want that?” Kylo sounded unexpectedly vulnerable. “Never knowing me?”<br/>
<br/>
“I take it back. I...I’m sorry. It just...hurts.”<br/>
<br/>
Kylo’s eye twitched. Almost imperceptibly, but it was there.<br/>
<br/>
“I didn’t want to,” he said. “Snoke...you could say that when I was hurting you, there were parts of my body that weren’t in control. I tried to fight him off, but I wasn’t strong enough."<br/>
<br/>
“He...”<br/>
<br/>
“I had a Force Bond with him,” Kylo said. “He formed it against my will, as a kid. And he used it to...to hurt...”<br/>
<br/>
His breathing was coming in too fast. His breathing, rapid and shallow, and there was no way you could feign a panic attack like that.<br/>
<br/>
Hesitantly, Poe said, “Ben, just breathe. In for four, out for six. It helps me.”<br/>
<br/>
He noticed Kylo wince a little at “it helps me”, but he did it. In for four, out for six, over and over, until Kylo’s breathing was normal again.<br/>
<br/>
“Thank you,” Kylo finally said. “Poe, I’m...sorry I wasn’t strong enough to fight back. I’m sorry I tortured you. I’m sorry I hurt you like this.”<br/>
<br/>
“You killed Snoke,” Poe said softly.<br/>
<br/>
“But it doesn’t change the fact you hate me.”<br/>
<br/>
<em>Hate. </em>Did Kylo just not know what Poe felt? Was he just hearing and seeing what he wanted to hear and see? Did he think he deserved Poe hating him?<br/>
<br/>
“I don’t hate anybody,” Poe said. “And I don’t hate you.”<br/>
<br/>
Kylo swallowed. It was clear he was repressing at least some kind of emotion. Something.<br/>
<br/>
“You were badly injured in the crash," Kylo said. His hand...he was already giving bits of his life force to heal Poe’s injuries. Like he didn’t need a medic. "You’re blessed by Vader that you didn’t die.”<br/>
<br/>
“I’m sure elevating Vader to deity-level is stupid.”<br/>
<br/>
“It’s no laughing matter,” Kylo said. “You could have died. It’s a good thing you didn’t."<br/>
<br/>
Poe could tell Kylo meant that, at least.<br/>
<br/>
***<br/>
<br/>
Kylo had apparently called a temporary ceasefire while he looked after Poe. “I’m not doing it because I’m fond of them,” Kylo said. "They’re murderers, traitors and thieves.”<br/>
<br/>
“They’re not that bad.”<br/>
<br/>
“Why are they even resisting anyway?” Kylo said. “They have no reason to. It’s not like the First Order rules the galaxy.”<br/>
<br/>
“Yet.”<br/>
<br/>
“Still.”<br/>
<br/>
Poe swallowed. Then, “It’s symbolic. Your mother knew that things were going to go wrong, and she needed to be ready.”<br/>
<br/>
“Shrewd. I suppose. But who was to say that what would come was a bad thing? The Republic was corrupt, the Jedi Order flawed at best, to say nothing of their leader.”<br/>
<br/>
“Don’t talk about your uncle like that.”<br/>
<br/>
“He tried to kill me.”<br/>
<br/>
Poe could have sworn that Kylo had stabbed him. “He’d never...”<br/>
<br/>
"I’m sure Skywalker can confirm it when he gets to Crait. He’s on his way. No doubt to finish what he started.”<br/>
<br/>
***<br/>
<br/>
Time passed. Inexorably, like the pulsing of blood behind a bruise. Transmissions, between the Resistance and the First Order, with snippets of Kylo talking to Leia and not seeming to like the answers. Poe spoke with Leia, of course, and she confirmed Luke trying to kill Kylo — albeit under mind control. Aspects such as that.<br/>
<br/>
Time passed. And Kylo...well, he just seemed lost. So very lost.<br/>
<br/>
“I don’t know what to do,” Kylo said. “Knowing Snoke was behind this all along...I should have known Skywalker wouldn’t try and kill me of his own free will.”<br/>
<br/>
He rubbed his temples. After a while, Poe took his hand, observing how good it felt in his own.<br/>
<br/>
"You could stop this,” Poe said. “All of it.”<br/>
<br/>
“How do you know it’s not too late?” Kylo said. “I’ve come too far. I’ve done too much damage. I nearly killed you.”<br/>
<br/>
“I was redeemed,” Poe said. “Finn was redeemed.” A beat. “I wasn’t calling him FN-2187. It just wasn’t right.”<br/>
<br/>
“And you couldn’t have named him something <em>other </em>than Finn because...?”<br/>
<br/>
Silence.<br/>
<br/>
And in spite of himself, Poe laughed.<br/>
<br/>
***<br/>
<br/>
Kylo seemed to be thinking, at least. Never leaving Poe’s side, naturally, before he said, “I could repurpose the First Order. Make it better.”<br/>
<br/>
“Or come with me,” Poe said.<br/>
<br/>
Kylo laughed, strained. "My mother forgives me, inexplicably — ”<br/>
<br/>
“She’s your mother.”<br/>
<br/>
“ — and you care about me but...I doubt there’s a place for me with the Resistance. I know what I have to do. I just don’t know if I have the strength to do it. Help me.”<br/>
<br/>
“Anything.”<br/>
<br/>
Poe stood up, shakily, placed his hands on Kylo’s chest. “Is there still a place in your future for me? Do you love me?”<br/>
<br/>
“Always. I love you, Poe. With all my heart.”<br/>
<br/>
“You aren’t scared to love anymore?”<br/>
<br/>
“Poe,” Kylo said, “Nothing makes me feel safer than being loved by you.”<br/>
<br/>
“And I feel the same when I’m with you.”<br/>
<br/>
Their lips touched. It wasn’t a kiss of victory, but it was soft and tender, and very much enough.<br/>
<br/>
“Let’s go talk to your mother,” Poe said.<br/>
<br/>
***<br/>
<br/>
They left a more trustworthy officer in charge. An officer that would keep Hux in line, at least. Poe stepped down from Kylo’s shuttle, towards the salt fields of Crait, salt crunching under his feet. His speeder was in ruins, but otherwise, the battlefield was empty.<br/>
<br/>
"I’m not sorry I knew you,” Poe said.<br/>
<br/>
“Neither am I,” Kylo said. “I have my share of regrets. But knowing you is not one of them.”<br/>
<br/>
They walked across the fields, both of them confident that, for a change, they were heading in the right direction.</p>
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